When Do Dreams Start to Die?

Is there a timeline for having dreams? When do we put our dreams to bed? When do we just sort of stop trying to accomplish those long-ago set goals? Is there a time limit? An age limit? I hope not, but I wonder.

Maybe it’s the time of year –part of spring house cleaning. Or maybe it’s me simply looking at longevity and what I’ve lived so far. But I do wonder — when do we say enough is enough? When do we stop planning big projects, taking on a new task or responsibility. Or more importantly, should we stop?

That’s my quandry. At 72 years old, do I dare think about those unfulfilled dreams and big ideas. George Elliot says, “It is never to late to be what you might have been.” So is it silly to think about those big dreams I once had. I should kick myself for even thinking twice about the answer. Of course I should think about them. Even without a life span goal of 120, dreams are worth having at any age. A fruit trees is worth planting even if I’ll never see it bear fruit. A life-long dream unfulfilled is still worthy of pursuit. That’s what life is all about. Except, the reality is we look at things a little differently as we age.

The question caused me not only to do some soul-searching but also some web-surfing to see how others felt. Well, I was inspired to say the least. How about these late bloomers:

Fauja Smith, at the age of 100, became the first centenarian to complete a marathon. He started running in his 80’s.

Tamae Watanabe, a Japanese mountain climber became the oldest woman to climb Mt. Everest at the age of 60. Ten years later she climbed it again.

It wasn’t just older athletes who reached for their own stars. Laura Ingalls Wilder, author of the beloved Little House on the Prairie books, didn’t start writing them until in her 60’s and penned her last one when she was 76.

Grandma Moses took up painting later in life because her arthritic fingers made embroidery work difficult. She got “serious” about her art at age 78. Today, her paintings hang in galleries and museums all over the world. She started writing her memoir at 92 and lived to be 101.

There’s a long list of high-achieving elders in the book Late Bloomers Success Stories. It has an alphabetized list of these interesting folk along with their biographies and stories. They’ve also been grouped according to subject matter, so you can find examples of late-blooming characters, all the way from authors to screenwriters to yoga teachers.

Another book that features successful elders is “Senior Wonders: People Who Achieved Their Dreams After 60,” Authors Karen Pepkin and Wendell Taylor dispel the notion that aging automatically means mental and physical decline. Their profiles of 23 individuals gave wonderful examples. One was Harry Bernstein. Trained as an architect, he liked writing but never had much luck at getting any of his novels published. Still, he kept writing. Finally, at the age of 97, his autobiographical novel, The Invisible Wall, received critical acclaim. The next year he published The Dream about his family’s move to America. At 98, Bernstein was awarded the Guggenheim Fellowship to pursue more writing!

Triumphant aging is what these individuals exemplified, the authors said, and as they studied their subjects, several common themes emerged They grouped them into what they called the 3 P’s: Passion, Perspective and Persistence.

The elders they featured had the Passion and a strong belief in what they were doing and just couldn’t help but do it, whether it was writing, painting, running or any other urge.

Perspective was identified among these seniors who often believed they couldn’t have achieved their success at an earlier age. Their “maturity” enabled them to learn from their failures and successes and establish a clearer sense of purpose.

And probably more than anything, they had Persistence. Many of the seniors featured faced huge obstacles, even encountered many failures. But they never gave up.

I applaud these dreamers who accomplished great things at an advanced age. They inspire me and remind me that it’s never too late or you’re never too old to reach for your stars.

Recently I attended a reading given by a farmer who had just published his first novel. His wife and four grown children gathered around him, beaming with pride. He’d fulfilled a dream he’d had for a very long time with the completion of the book he’d been working on for nearly 12 years. He was so proud of his accomplishment, as he should be. The book, Wildflowers Beyond the Road by Ron Dubas is a wonderful read.

Last week my husband and I attended an Elton John concert, part of his final Yellow Brick Road tour. At 78, he says it’s his final, but this older rocker just keeps on rocking. And he’s not alone. Take Mick Jagger, age 78, and Paul McCartney, 80. It’s clear they all have the passion to keep performing.

I’d be remiss in this review if I didn’t include fellow Nebraskan, Warren Buffett, who at 92, still as he says, “tap dances to work,” to become the savviest and wealthiest of all investors. His business partner, Charlie Munger, nearing 100, is right there with him.

So where does that leave me in my soul-searching? As I read about these seniors I sometimes feel a bit down, thinking – oh, I could never do that — run a marathon, climb Mt. Everest, publish a book. Maybe not, but then I ask myself, what do I want to do. What are some of my big — and little — goals yet unfilled?

As I sit down for my daily morning pages, I’ve been asking myself those questions. Sure, I want to continue to write my blog and get better at it. Anything else? Start a podcast? Get back in the saddle and purchase horse? Really learn how to swim? Perform a public piano recital? Big dreams and even little ones — they all count. The important thing is to start working on them, and second is to keep it up.

I suspect that in this process I’m like many. Doubt creeps in. That little voice in the back of my mind says, “Oh, who are you kidding. You can’t do those things. You’re past your prime. Sorry, too late to the game.” Somehow I need to stop that little voice. Fortunately, there’s help for that. Blogger Hilary Young offered five steps for establishing and working on goals, steps that work for anyone at any age:

—Write down what you what to accomplish. Putting to paper or talking to someone about a goal makes that goal more tangible. Writing it down makes one think more deeply about it.

—Create a vision board. With photos, posters or whatever item posted in a visual setting, one can actually “see” steps to take to meeting a goal and what the finished product might look like.

—Break it down into smaller steps. Think of the goal as being at the top of a ladder and each step brings you closer to the top. Each rung of the ladder becomes a small goal to accomplish.

—Stay positive even with setbacks — because they will inevitably happen. Maintaining an optimistic outlook helps to keep on keeping on. A little bit of humor and positive self-talk go a long way.

—Learn from failure and adjust accordingly. Failures or mistakes shouldn’t mean we stop trying; we just have to adjust our strategies and change tactics. As Ellen DeGeneres once said, “It’s failure that gives you the perspective in success.”

Those seemed like good suggestions to me, so I’m applying them. I’ll keep writing morning pages and referring to my list of goals. I’ll take daily tiny steps. I’ll keep on keeping on, because that is what life is all about. A purpose. A reason to get up in the morning. Things to do. Places to go. My end game might not be Mt. Everest or a best selling novel, but there are plenty of things out there I want to do. And as C.S. Lewis reminds me: “You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.”

Dreams never need to die!